Vive La France

Hello and long time no write. This summer and fall have been fairly good to us. The summer was really busy but now in the months of the holidays they have become busy as well. Here is what we have been up too.

March, April & May- We were in France with my best friend Aurelie. I told her that when she had a baby that I would come and visit. She had a baby girl named Elise who just turned a year in October. I have known Aurelie since I was 16. She came to the US as an exchange student. We went to many places while there. Paris, Bordeaux, Biarritz, San Sebastian, Spain, La Rochelle and a lot more. I finally was able to meet her family that have always been part of mine. I was there for the Birth of her sisters baby boy. We had such a blast. I got to have lots of good wine and cheese and just enjoyed myself. We also met my exchange students families which was awesome as well.

June we went on a family vacation close to Yosemite and then off to Sacramento and it was a good time. Camping in a cabin is fun. It was our friends birthday and we told them we would come for sure. So we went to Pine Mountain and to Sacramento. Seeing family is always nice in Sacramento but it is getting a little old going there.

July we had our two exchange students here. We went lots of places and had so much fun that they extended the trip for another week. It was sad to see them leave but I know that their lives are forever impacted by what I could teach them and experience away from their parents.

August our friends came down for their yearly trip to Oceanside. They rent a condominium on the beach and this time it was our friends who is a family of 3, her parents, niece and nephew and her sister and her sisters 2 kids. For Nastya it was so much fun, she got to play with a 7 month old baby boy and a girl and boy who are her age. In the time that they were here it was our anniversary, our friend said she would watch Nastya for us and we had decided to do her first sleepover. She cried when we left but after a little bit she was fine. She had so much fun with her friends.

September we found out that we are expecting another baby in May so our family of three with be a family of 4.

October sick all day and didn't really get out of the house. Nastya also turned 4 years old and spent the day with Papa since I was not feeling well.

November- Sick most of the month but now that I am 15 weeks today the all day sickness has become almost non existent. Next month we get to find out the gender and in January we will revel what we are having.

15 weeks

Do You Know Your Family History?

     I do but its cloudy with a chance of Judaism, Farmers and a mix of Heinz 57. My birth mother's history is as follows:

     Father: Parent's were farmers that had many children and only a small number survived. His ancestral home is back in Gilnockie, Scotland and there is a museum as well. We haven't had family there in a long time But maybe we have a distant relatives there I don't know. Grandpa recently passed in April of last year.

   Mother: Hails from Texas and her grandmother was a Cherokee Indian who never talked about where she came from since it was taboo then. I really don't know much about my grandmother's side.

My birth father's history as follows.

     Father: Great Grandparent's fled Russia to come to the States with their parents. In Russia they were diamond fabricators and were very wealthy but since the Kazakh (Cossack's were traditional Ukrainian people) tortured my family they thought it best to come here. They went from riches to rags. They did live a very fruitful life, sadly the Russian and Yiddish language died when my grandfather died in 2006. I am the only one in my family that has learned and taken the time to learn the language.

This is my Great-Grandmother's family(in this picture Great-Great Grandmother is pregnant).

    Mother: Originally from Hungary and Ukraine. Her mother's side was of Hungarian descent and her father was from Tul'chyn, Ukraine and immigrated from there to Quebec, Canada. There side has a very good documentation on where they came from how they came here and so forth.

My husband's History is as follows:

     Father: Came from Kivertsi, Ukraine ( but the town of Lutsk was only about 10 minutes away). His father was born there as well. His father was married 3 times and he outlived 2 of his wives, the third outlived him but died not long after he did. When we went to Ukraine we saw her grave. His father's family moved here and so most of the family is here in the states.

Mother: Came from Kivertsi {pronounced Key-vert (hard t sound as in vertical) ts (as in sits) ee (as in eat)}. Her mother and father came from the same town and were buried next to each other. After her mother passed her father never remarried. When her and her husband came to the States they had 8 children the youngest being 4 months and the oldest 13, and one born here in the States.

     So where are you from?

Ouch

     I can't believe that I turned 28. It seems that after I had Nastya that time has seemed to zip by without a thought or picture of it. I sit here and have flashbacks of all the things I have done with Nastya and Pasha and how she has grown from a limp little baby to a little girl with poise and confidence and a love for life.

     I never thought that I would reach the ripe age of 28 and 1. Still have only one baby, 2. Be where I am today. Time flies as they say and boy are they right. It doesn't slow down as you become older and its a little known fact that we have slowed our lives down for this little munchkin that has come into our lives.

     This birthday was unlike any other Pasha had a plan to surprise me with my friends and decorating the home. I was surprised.

So as of 6 March I have turned 28. Happy Birthday to me!

Nastya thought these balloons were for her.

Questions!

Well on the 10th it will be two years since I started to blog about our lives, so I thought it was befitting for my readers to ask me questions if they have any. So start, shoot away and I will reply!

Grandparents

     What are grandparents? To me they are a group of people or a person who care and love you the way your parents don't. They give you advice when you need it. Most of all it is a privilege to be grandparents not a right. The debate that My husband and I have is this debacle with my birth parents. I was born to them and lived with them until the age of 18 when I was kicked out of the home for bringing alcohol into the home, among other things that are not important. I wasn't a perfect child but I always wanted to be loved by the people who gave me life. Unfortunately it hasn't been that way since I started to have my own thoughts and feelings. I felt stifled in my thoughts and feelings, I felt I had to be one way because my way was wrong. Now that I am on my own and have my husband. The love of my life has no clue what I went through. Just because I forgive someone doesn't mean I want them in my life. I don't need my daughter to go through the same heart ache that I went through. She will know my birth parents as Brian and CarolDawn and nothing else, they aren't grandparents to Nastya. They don't visit her or me or care about anyone but themselves. I'm not willing to make an effort in their life if they wont in mine. Nastya has 3 other grandparents that care for her beyond life and she doesn't have room to have unpleasant ones.

     Grandparents are there to love and do things that us as parents can't do. It is a privilege not a right.

Nervous

     I have started to get a little anxiety. I have a trip coming up with Nastya and she has never travelled so far from home and been on a plane for so long. I'm nervous because my brother suggested to take all the luggage as a carry on...I was not happy about that. I already will have enough to worry about without the luggage let alone with it. I'm not worried about the trip its self just the plane since it will be very long. If you have any tips I will take them, just don't tell me fill the iPad or Tablet up because I don't have one and don't see the need.

Paris, Pyrenees, Spain

     We have plans to go to Paris. I know we will do lots of things but I don't have many plans except to go to the Jewish Memorial in Paris.The Memorial de la Shoah in Paris is supposed to be a moving piece. It is gory but also shows how cruel a person was to everyone who didn't look like him. I have Jewish ancestors all of them in fact on my fathers side is Jewish. I want to go there for my own reasons, I want to see with my own eyes what they did to Jews, to possibly my ancestors who didn't get out in time. I know I will cry but it is okay.

     Another Museum I want to see for sure is Mémorial des Martyrs de la Déportation (The Memorial of The Deported Martyrs) it has 200,000 crystals that they light up at night to show how many Jews were murdered. Its quite sad but it is part of me its my heritage.


The Pyrenees, is a mountain range that sits in France and Spain, the plan is to go there for about a week or so and just have a vacation from a vacation.

Spain is a beautiful place and because Bordeaux is so close we plain to maybe get on the trail of the pilgrimage El Camino de Santiago, the journey starts when you start not in Spain specifically. It now has paved roads to make it easier which was not what I wanted but hoping one day I can do the whole pilgrimage with my brother and come out a new person.

Cuteness Alert

So on the 28 January we welcomed a new family member to our already large family. No I'm not pregnant but my sister in law did have a baby. Ava Dianne Mazhula was born 28 January 2013 at 11:20 am 7.2 #'s and 20 1/2 inches long. Both Mum, Dad and baby girl are now home and doing well.

 First picture!

 Pictures were done about 2 weeks before due. Ava looks just like her Papa

 Yana, Tanya and baby Ava.

Yana, Yana's nurse, Tanya and Mum.

France Bordeaux first

     In a months time Nastya and I will make the great long journey to France. We will be without Pasha for a whole month and a half. I wonder how Nastya will be but also me and Pasha have never been gone this long without Pasha a world away. There are so many places I would love to visit, but because of money here are some of the places I would love to see or do.

Bordeaux- Is the world's wine industry capitol. It's home to the biggest wine fair Vinexpo, while the wine economy in the metro area moves 14.5 billion Euros each year. Bordeaux wine has been produced in the region since the 8th century.

Wine tasting-Bordeaux has 287,000 acres of vineyards. So imagine that they make approximately 996,000 bottles of wine a year

Place De Quinconces- it is one of the largest city squares in Europe. This place is huge and it was damaged in WWII but they fixed what had happened and it is fully restored.

Grand Théâtre De Bordeaux-It is an old theatre erected in 1780 and one of the first places to have Marius Petipa as a ballet performer.

They have a lot of famous Churches and Chateau's, museums and parks that I would love to see as well.

The centre of town. At night they light everything up and they say its the best time to see the city.

The Palais Royale

The three Cathedrals:St. Andre, St. Michel and Saint Seurin de Cadourne

Esplande des Quinconces

A Metamorphisis

     This post is kind of a heavy one but to be honest it needed to be written. Until I can freely talk about this it will always be a dirty little secret. I no longer want this as my dirty little secret or to define me as the person I am.

     Before we had a child...okay me more like, I felt my life was more complete. We got to travel whenever we wanted to, I could buy 300 dollar shoes and not regret it or feel guilty about doing so. I put cosmetics on more and took care of myself. Now that I have a child I found that...okay here it goes the shameful admission, I became that frumpy Mum. I said that I would never be that person and here I am that person I didn't want to be.

     My New Years Resolution was for I Callie Kalinyuk to take care of myself better and in turn I can care for my child better. At times I feel inadequate and not fulfilled  I need more to my life then just my child. It's not that she doesn't make my life happier but I need more for myself. I need to finish my education, I need to feel better and more confidante about the body I was given after birth. I need to be less jealous of others who either are pregnant or just had a baby and that I'm not and won't be for a while. I need to not be jealous of people who have an easy time conceiving. I need to feel beautiful, and most importantly I need to feel wanted and cherished. My life growing up was very traumatising, and feeling abandoned by my own parents didn't help. A father who worked 3 jobs to support his 6 kids and his wife's previous marriage child and in turn was rarely home. A mother who was very warm and loving to others but to her own children and husband is abusive ,hurtful, controlling, cold and callous.

     My in-laws however have been a god send. They love me and have labelled me with the moniker of a hero. They say I saved their son. He was not on a good path and I came into his life at the right time to save him from the wrong path. His parents are so proud of him and they visit when they can. They are proud of how far he has come. I am so proud of him as well. Since Nastya has been born I have lived for her and my husband. Now is my time to be a little more selfish. The first place I started was my head. I went to the saloon and got my hair done.

     I have also been working on forgiveness. I am trying to do it with my parents first. I don't feel they did the best they could at raising us and the ones that are still at home, but I forgive them for how they treated me. I accept that they are the way they are and that they will not change. I am okay with that because I decided that until they want to be in our life I will refrain from their life. I will not send cards or presents or hello's. They will not be grandparent's to my daughter until they will make and effort to do so. It's not a right to be a parent or grandparent its a privilege. I was talking to my sister and I said I know I did some things out of stupidity, but "my past does not define me and who I am today." She agreed and this is for me, I'm not doing this to spite anyone or make them more mad. I'm doing this so that I as a women, a mother, a wife, a sister and as a best friend can grow and make me a better women, wife, sister and friend.

     I still want to erase my childhood but it made me what I am today. It made me to be giving of my family that it hinders me. In some sense it has become to polar opposite of how I was brought up. My life isn't perfect and nor will it be and nor do I want it to be. Perfection is always waiting for the cracks to appear.

My favourite quote is “We come to love not by finding the perfect person, but by learning to see an imperfect person perfectly.” I love this quote because the "love" can be anything in your life. No one is perfect and so it gives me great pleasure to know that each and every day I work on myself and loving me for me.

 Before hair done

After

Food

Everyone who knows us knows that we not only love to cook, but we also love to eat. I make almost all of our food from scratch and boy is it good. So to a tribute to food here is some food to drool over. We do cook a lot of Russian dishes but lately I have been trying out lots of foods from pintrest and man some of the stuff is super yummy.

 Eggplant Lasagne. One of my husbands favourite.

 Baked Zucchini

 Taco Pizza...not that good just too dry.

 Beecher's home-made mac n cheese

 My own pizza with home-made white sauce

 Home-made apple pie.

 Christmas feast

 New Years feast

 Jamaica with lime juice and salt

Blueberries

Del Mar Lights

     During the Christmas/holiday season the Del Mar Racetrack puts on the Holiday light show around the horse track. Nastya thoroughly enjoyed it and was mad when we went home. It is costly to get in, however you can go as many times as you would like. They ask that you not get out of the car, and turn your lights off (only american cars can do that/older cars), go really slow and stay safe distances from the cars. The experience for us adults is lame but to see the faces of excitement it is beyond the words of expression. We went around twice.

 I really love my dash.

This is just a snap shot of what they do.

Better than Dennys

     When we lived by the beach we had always wanted to go to this breakfast spot that you wait between 20 minutes to an hour. We read good reviews and we were not disappointed. It is called Beach Break Cafe and it is delicious. Every time we go there we can never finish our food. It is beyond enough for 2 people and its yummy. They also have home made coffee cake and it comes out warm and moist. If you are ever in the area you should definitely pay them a visit.

     One thing I love is that you don't have to wait till you get a spot to have coffee. They believe in the honour system when you sit you let your sever know that you had coffee. The eclectic style is really interesting. It has a surfing/ocean/Hawaii theme with also parts that go along with surfing. Skateboarding is a typical part of the surfing realm. Walls are covered with memorabilia from the early days to now. Magazine covers in frame's shirts and surfboards for auction. Service is amazing and they never ask you how your food is when you have a mouth full of food. The one part I wish would happen is crayons for every child automatically or for the server to ask if its okay. This is a very kid friendly and pet friendly place.

Happy Christmas

     We celebrate Christmas like every other American but dinner has a bit of old and new traditions.

 My Brother Ben, Anya and Andy

 The guys: Ben, Pasha, Andy, RJ and Sasha

 Anya and I

 The table and as you can see vodka is part of this meal.

 This was the meal.

 Everyone received banana nutella bread from us.

 Great grandparents bought this for Nastya

 Andy's Mum always gives Nastya an ornament for Christmas.

 From Auntie Anya and Uncle Andy.

 From a different Auntie Anya

 She had fun with the big legos.

 Home made apple pie!

Nastya's new fish.